Dear Isobel
by justkillingtime
Summary: When Izzie receives a letter from her past, she is faced with a difficult decision.
1. Chapter 1

_Dear Isabel,_

_I regret having to write to you. Karl told me I shouldn't. That this wasn't something I should ask you for. And I agree with him. I shouldn't be asking you this. I shouldn't be writing to you. But I can't not write to you. I can't not ask. _

_Hannah is sick. Twelve months ago the cancer came back. She's been fighting it. She's fighting it so hard but she's getting worse. Her kidney's are failing. She's on the transplant list but the doctors say her tissue type is rare, that it's unlikely for a non relative to be a match. You are her only relative and that is why I'm writing to you. We've run out of options and were running out of time._

_I know the last time we spoke was very difficult for you. I know this because I know how much you love Hannah and being so close to her and not being able to see her…I'm asking a lot I know. But I wouldn't be asking if there was any other option. We've run out of options and we're running of time. _

_Please Isobel. Please consider this. I will be in Seattle on the 22nd of this month. I will talk more to you then._

_Regards_

_Katherine Jones_

Izzie slipped the letter back into her pocket. It was the hundredth time she'd read it. For some reason she thought the words might change, maybe she'd read it wrong but the words weren't changing. This really was happening and she didn't know what to do.

Her heart and her brain were in conflict with one another. Her heart was telling her to do it. To do it and not even think about it. But her brain was telling her to stop think. Her brain was winning at the moment. It had been just over a week since the letter had arrived and she still hadn't made up her mind what she was going to do. Today was the 20th. She only had two more days to decide.

That's it for now. Comments anyone?


	2. Chapter 2

Izzie took out a pen and paper and started writing. She was writing a list of pros and cons, reasons why she should and reason why she shouldn't donate.

Pro: Hannah will get better (probably).

Con: This is major surgery.

Con: She could get sick.

Con: She could die.

Con: She'll miss a lot of work.

Con: This could affect her career.

Con: Everyone will find out her secret.

A tear trickled down Izzie's face. How could she even be thinking about this? Wasn't the decision obvious? Hannah will die without the surgery. Could she seriously let her own flesh and blood die?

No of course not.

But she wasn't part of Hannah's family. She wasn't part of Hannah's life. She'd never seen Hannah and Hannah didn't even know she existed. Izzie hated the part of her that was telling her to stop and think.

She hated it because she knew it was right. Hannah wasn't her child. She had given birth to her but she wasn't her child. When she'd signed the adoption papers she'd signed away all her rights, her obligations, her responsibilities. She wasn't responsible for this child. She wasn't responsible for her well being, her health, her safety. There was no one, no one in the world who could tell her otherwise but the mother inside of her kept talking. Despite having never met or even seen Hannah, Izzie knew she loved her. It was an act of love that had caused her to be put up for adoption in the first place. She wanted more for her daughter than she could offer at sixteen but she'd also wanted more for herself.

She hated, hated the little selfish man (yes it was a man) inside of her telling her to stop. She hated him because he was stopping her making a rash decision. He was stopping her making any decision at all. She had to do it. She couldn't not do it. She would never forgive herself if Hannah died and she could have saved her. But the man kept reminding her of the consequences to herself.

Transplant surgery was major. She knew she'd seen it done. They cut you open remove your organ and sow you back up. As far as risky procedures go donating a kidney wasn't one of the more risky ones. The actual procedure was quite straight forward but all surgeries have their risks. And recovery periods. Every day of an internship was important. Every day you're learning new skills. Could she afford to miss two weeks work.

The mother inside of Izzie told the man to shut up and quit being selfish. The surgery wasn't going to kill her, well it could but it wasn't likely, without the surgery Hannah was going to die. The man kept reminding her though of how much this decision could affect everything she'd worked for.

Izzie folded the list up and placed it in her pocket. Katherine would be here tomorrow and she still didn't know what she was going to do.


	3. Chapter 3

Izzie threw her scrubs into her locker. It was only 5pm. She was leaving early but she didn't think anyone would notice. She'd been stuck in the pit all day with Alex doing sutures. She'd told him there was something she needed to do and asked if he'd cover for her. He didn't mind covering for her but was a little annoyed when she wouldn't tell him why she had to leave early. She couldn't tell him though, not yet, not like that. How do you explain to someone in two minutes as you run out the door that you're going to meet your child's adoptive mother because she wants you to donate your kidney? It's not the type of conversation that you can have in two minutes. She'd tell him and everyone else but not yet. The time wasn't right. . This had to be her decision and she didn't want anyone else telling her what she should be doing. She didn't want anyone else knowing, not yet, not like this. She knew her secret would come out eventually but not yet.

Outside the weather was beautiful. For once it wasn't raining and the sun was shining. Izzie decided to walk home. She'd never done this before despite the fact their home was only three miles from the hospital. The walk would do her good. Give her more time to think and delay the inevitable. Today was the 22nd and Izzie was positive Katherine would be waiting for her at the house.

The walk took almost an hour. She walked slowly and thought a lot. The same arguments that had been going through her head the previous night were still there. The mother and the selfish man, both arguing their case. The mother was winning. It wasn't in Izzie's nature to be selfish, not in situations like this at least. She'd become a doctor to save people. She couldn't just let Hannah die, not when there was something she could do about it.

By the time she reached the house she'd made up her mind. She was going to do it. She always knew deep down that the mother would win. Even though Hannah wasn't in her life, she would always be a part of her life; a part of her history that would never go away.

Katherine was waiting for her at the house. She was sitting on the front steps reading a medical text book. She stood up when she saw Izzie coming up the road. The look on her face was that of nervous anticipation. She forced a smile and Izzie forced one back. Their last meeting had not ended pleasantly and there had always been some hostility between them.

The last time they met was five years ago._ Izzie had just graduated from her BA and was preparing to go to med school. Katherine had showed up on her door step and asked her out for coffee. She told her Hannah was sick and she needed her to donate bone marrow. Izzie agreed to do it without so much as a second thought and had found herself on a plane to San Diego that afternoon. _

_The three days she'd spent in San Diego turned out to be some of the most trying of her life. Physically the procedure went fine, the wound site became infected a week later leaving a small scar on her back, but a little infection she was prepared for. What she wasn't prepared for was the psychological stuff. Katherine refused to let Izzie see Hannah. She told her that Hannah didn't know she was adopted and she wanted to keep it that way. She told Izzie she had no right to see her and waved the adoption papers in her face. The papers prevented Izzie from trying to initiate any contact whatsoever with Hannah. Which was fine, but Izzie thought the contact had already been initiated. _

_The experience turned out to be emotionally unbearable.incredibly painful, not just physically but emotionally. Katherine saw Izzie not as a person but as a human incubator. She looked down on her and had absolutely no regard for how she was feeling. They had several screaming matches in the hallways of the hospital. All Izzie had wanted to do was see her daughter. She didn't even have to talk to her; she just wanted to see her. Karl, Hannah's father, had to intervene several times to prevent the women causing physical harm to one another. In the end Izzie couldn't take it anymore and just left._

_The experience left her an emotional wreck. For weeks after she'd thought of nothing but Hannah. The feelings of loss that she'd buried deep inside of her had all risen to the surface and she couldn't put them back down. She didn't regret putting her up for adoption, they both had better lives because of it, but she couldn't help wondering how she was, if she was okay. Three months later Karl sent Izzie a letter with a photo telling her Hannah was doing well, was about to go back to school and that the family was moving but he didn't say where. _That had been the last time she'd heard from them, until she'd received the letter from Katherine last week.

On the steps the two women stood facing each other. Neither one of them felt comfortable in the presence of the other. They'd never really gotten along with each other. Even during the adoption there'd been hostility. Katherine saw Izzie as nothing more than white trailer trash, a teenage girl who was stupid enough to get herself pregnant. The only reason Izzie had even let them adopt her baby was because of Karl.

_Karl, Mr. Jones as she'd always called him had been a substitute teacher at her school. He'd arrived a couple of weeks before Izzie found out she was pregnant. During those weeks he'd taken a real interest in her and not in the sleazy I want to have sex with you way, which was why most people took interest in her. He genuinely cared about her. He told her that she was gifted, smart, and had the power, and the ability to become more than a waitress at a truck stop if she wanted to be. When she found out she was pregnant she'd been devastated. She'd thought all her hopes and dreams were shattered. It had been Mr. Jones who'd told her there were other options. He left a few weeks later but his influence had already changed her life._

_Six months later when Izzie was looking for adoptive parents she found the Jones name on the list. When she agreed to meet them she didn't realize it was Mr. Jones she'd be meeting. When he'd suggested she put her child up for adoption he'd had no intention of adopting a child himself. But since their encounter he'd discovered his wife was unable to bear children. At first he'd tried to stop the meeting, he'ds told her to put the child up for adoption, he shouldn't be the one to adopt it. But Izzie couldn't think of anyone else she'd rather have raise her child. She ignored the fact his wife was cold and bitter toward her, she put it down to her being upset she couldn't have children herself. _

Things had never changed between Izzie and Katherine though. In the few times that they had met since the birth, Katherine had always been cold, bitter, rude, superior acting toward Izzie. Now Izzie was a doctor she was superior, well maybe not superior but defiantly not inferior.

Izzie indicated that they should sit down on the steps. She didn't want Katherine inside her house. She didn't want her to judge her anymore than she already was. She also wanted to make this encounter as brief as possible. There conversation lasted maybe fifteen minutes. It was formal, direct. They avoided the small talk.

"Good evening, Katherine."

"Good evening, Isobel."

Izzie was the only one who called Katherine, Katherine; she was Kate to everyone else. And Katherine was the only one who called Izzie, Isobel. It was like they were having a business meeting. I guess it kind of was a business meeting as far as Izzie and Katherine were concerned anyways. They didn't care about each other, only Hannah. Izzie said straight out that she'd donate so most of the conversation was about the logistics of it all. The family was living in Portland now, and Hannah was a patient at the Portland Children's hospital. Katherine had brought with her Hannah's most recent test results, which Izzie perused. The transplant needed to be imminent. They agreed that Izzie should have the pre donation tests done in Seattle. Katherine would organize for Izzie to have them done the following evening at Mercy West. If the tests were clear they'd fly out to Portland the following morning and the procedure would happen that afternoon.

Izzie sat on the steps for an hour after Katherine left digesting what she'd just agreed to. In 36 hours she could be in Portland about to go into surgery. She'd thought it might happen fast but not this fast. If she was going to sought things out before she left she only had one day to do it.

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Reviews please. I love to know there is people actually reading this and thanks to everyone who wrote one already.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I wanted to try something a little different with this part. If it works and I have the time I might do the other parts like this as well.I've actually written the part twice. The first time is a stright continuation from the previous part written in third person. The second time it's written first person from Izzie's POV. I wanted to try and get into her head a little more than I could writing third person. The plot for both is the same. Please tell me what you think.

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Izzie couldn't sleep there were too many things going through her head. Her meeting with Katherine that afternoon had gone well, well okay anyways. She hadn't said what she really wanted to say, what she'd planed to say. "I'll only do this if I can see Hannah." But it wasn't true. It would have been an empty threat and Katherine would have seen through it. No matter how much she knew she'd want to see Hannah she also knew that even if Katherine prevented her from seeing her she'd still donate. She couldn't let Hannah die.

She climbed out of her bed and walked over to George's room. It was late, his light was off, he was probably asleep. She knew he was asleep but she really needed to talk to someone. This situation was on the verge of snowballing out of control and she needed someone to catch her. She stood outside his room waiting, waiting for what she wasn't sure, a sign maybe? She didn't want to wake him but she wanted to talk to him so bad. After a while, ten minutes, an hour, she wasn't sure the light came on in his room. She heard movement and the door opened.

If George was surprised to see her standing there he didn't act it. Maybe it was because it was the middle of the night and he'd only gotten up to take a leak. He walked past her and into the bathroom. A minute later he walked out and back to his room. This time he did stop.

"Izzie what are you doing?" he asked. Izzie was slow to respond, she stood there looking worried and anxious. "Izzie are you okay?" she didn't answer. She walked past him, into his room and sat on his bed.

They sat in silence for five minutes. George was tired he wanted to sleep but he couldn't do that with Izzie in his room. Not when it was so obvious there was something she needed to tell him. "Izzie, what's wrong?"

She didn't answer, just handed George a folded piece of paper, it was the letter from Katherine.

He read through the letter three times before folding it up and handing it back. She hadn't said a word the whole time he'd been reading. "Who's Hannah?" he asked.

Izzie didn't answer. Not at first anyways. She wanted to tell George, that was the whole reason she was in his room in the middle of the night but the words seemed difficult to say. She'd never really talked too much about it. Not to anyone who mattered anyways.

"Izzie?" she felt Georges hand on her back. She twisted away from him "Who's Hannah?"

"My daughter." The words came out quietly, barley audible but George heard her. She felt his arms wrap around her, in an embrace of some description.

"Oh…Izzie." She let him hold her for a minute before turning back to face him.

"I need you to cover for me at work tomorrow afternoon and the next day. I thought I'd have more time to work something out but there is no time. I've got to go tomorrow afternoon. Can you cover for me?"

"Yeah sure. But…" George paused. This hadn't been exactly what he was expecting Izzie to say. It didn't surprise him that she'd said it but he thought she wanted to talk about it. "Izzie this is surgery you're having. You need more than two days."

"I have two RDOs after. I'll be able to work something out then." Izzie stood up to leave the room. At the door she stopped and looked back. "George," she said, "don't tell anyone about what I told you. I want to be the one to tell them."

/\/\/\

The following day at the hospital was a shambles. George tried unsuccessfully to talk to Izzie more about their brief conversation the previous night. It wasn't that she was avoiding him it was just everyone was so busy. There had been an accident on the freeway in the morning, so everyone was in and out of surgery all day.

At 4pm George found Izzie in the locker room. She had already changed out of her scrubs and was about to leave. "Thank you so much for covering for me George." She said as she gave him a hug on the way out.

/\/\/\

Izzie slipped into the back of a taxi and told the driver to go to Mercy West. She was running late for her appointment with Katherine. Today had been a shambles. There was a ten car pile up on the freeway in the morning. Everyone had been in and out of surgery all day. The whole day she'd only seen her fellow interns for brief moments between surgeries. She hadn't had time to tell them about what she was doing. She hadn't even had a chance to talk to Dr. Bailey about taking a few days off. Oh well she couldn't do anything about it now. George knew, he'd be able to take care of things for her.

When the taxi pulled up at Mercy West Katherine was waiting outside. She looked slightly perturbed and worried. Her only greeting to Izzie was "You're late." Before she turned and walked into the hospital.

Katherine had been organized, super organized. It turned out she knew one of the nephrology specialists and all the tests that Izzie needed to take to be cleared as a donor had been scheduled. They drew blood, did a CT, a kidney function test…..The testing took about two hours and then they had to wait for the results. Katherine insisted that they wait together even though they weren't actually talking to each other. Izzie read a copy of Medline Now, that was sitting in the waiting room. It was a few months old but there was an interesting article in about advancements in neonatal surgery written by Addison Shepard.

After waiting an hour Katherine's phone rang. She left the room to answer it. Ten minutes later she came back looking more worried than ever.

"We need to leave tonight." She said taking her seat next to Izzie. "Hannah's getting worse. Her doctor wants to do the procedure in the morning if the tests are clear."

Izzie nodded in response but didn't say anything. She kept her head down and kept reading the magazine. It was another hour before the doctor returned with the test results. They were exactly what Izzie and Katherine had expected. Everything was a match and it was a go for the surgery. All they needed to do now was get to Portland.

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That was the end of the fourth part. Below is the same thing written 1st person from Izzie's POV. I wanted to try and get into her head a little more.

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I lay awake. I wanted to sleep. I needed to sleep but there were too many things running through my head. I was thinking about Hannah. I'd been thinking about Hannah a lot during the last week, ever since I'd received the letter from Katherine. I couldn't get her out of my head. I was thinking about my meeting with Katherine as well. It had been okay. We were civil with one another. There was no emotion. It wasn't like we were discussing the fate of a child. It was more like…I don't. It had been good in a way, avoiding the emotion but…I'd wanted to put an ultimatum down. I'd wanted to say "I'll only do this if I can see Hannah." But there was no appropriate time to say it. Besides it was an empty threat. I'd already made my decision to do this and nothing would stop me. I wouldn't let Hannah die.

I stood outside George's room debating with myself whether or not I should wake him up. It was late, the middle of the night. He was asleep. I'd woken him up before, I could do it again. But…I bit down on my finger nails and waited. I don't know how long I was standing there, outside his room. Eventually his light came on. I heard movement in the room and the door opened.

George walked straight past me and into the bathroom. It was like I wasn't even there. I bit down on my finger nails again and waited for him to come back.

When he did come back he stopped and asked me what I was doing. I didn't answer him. I don't know why didn't. Maybe it was because I didn't know what I was doing. I was standing outside his room in the middle of the night, is what I was doing. After a moment he asked me if I was okay. I wasn't okay. I was far from being okay but I didn't know how to put it.

I walked into his room and sat down on his bed. He followed me in and sat next to me. He didn't say anything though. He was probably waiting for me to say something. He'd asked the last two questions. I was the one who wanted to do the talking. It was the middle of the night. He wanted to sleep. Eventually he asked me what was wrong.

I wanted to tell him. That was the whole reason I was in his room in the middle of the night. But I couldn't seem to find the words. I looked in my hands I was holding Katherine's letter. I didn't remember taking it out but…I handed it to George and waited for him to read it.

I didn't say anything, just watched him read it. He seemed to read it through a few times. Taking in the information or something. I know. Then he handed the letter back to me and asked who Hannah was.

I didn't know how to answer. It's not that the answer was difficult. Hannah was my daughter but I couldn't seem to say it. I'd never really talked to anyone about it before. Well not anyone important. Not anyone who really mattered to me.

"Izzie?" George placed his hand on my back. It felt nice, comforting. I twisted away from him though. I didn't want to face. I don't know why, maybe I was ashamed of her. No not of her, my past maybe. "Who's Hannah?"

"My daughter." I mumbled the words. I didn't think George heard me but he must have because he pulled me closer to him in an embrace of some sought. I let him hold me for a minute. It felt good and gave me a minute to think what to say next. I didn't want to talk about it anymore though. Well a part of me did but the majority of me just wanted to sleep. I twisted around to face him again.

I asked him to cover for me at work. Told him I needed him to cover for me. That I was going to work something out but that now there wasn't enough time. He said he would cover for me but told me I'd need more time. Two days wasn't enough. I knew that but I couldn't think that far a head. I have a couple of RDOs coming up. I could use them. I got up to leave. Sleep was finally coming and I didn't feel right spending the night in George's room. On the way out I stopped at the door and asked George not to tell the others. This was something I needed to tell them myself.

/\/\/\

Work the next day was a shambles. I didn't get a chance to tell the others about everything. It wasn't that I didn't want to. I did but there just wasn't a chance. There was a major accident on the freeway in the morning so everyone was in and out of surgery all day. I got to scrub in on two surgeries. That was great it kept my mind off things for a little bit. As soon as everything slowed down though, I couldn't get Hannah out of my head.

As soon as 4pm rolled around I slipped into the locker room and changed out of my scrubs. I was actually supposed to be meeting Katherine at 4pm but I didn't want to arrive there early. A little part of me still wanted to be difficult and being late was the easiest way to do that. Also I wanted to see George again before I left. To thank him, for covering for me. He was supposed to be out of surgery at about 4 so I thought he might come to the locker room. I was right. He turned up right as I was about to leave. I gave him a hug and thanked him. It was the most I could offer given the circumstance.

When the taxi pulled up at Mercy West Katherine was waiting for me outside. She looked worried and annoyed. I guess I was 20mins late so she had a right to be a little annoyed. Her only greeting to me was "You're late." I didn't bother with a response, just followed her inside the hospital.

Inside the hospital Katherine introduced me to her doctor friend who turned out to be a nephrologist. But she left the exact details of our relationship out.

I was lead to an exam room and told to change into a hospital gown. I only had to wait five minutes for the doctor to return and the testing to being. When Katherine had said she'd organize the testing she really meant she'd organize the testing. Every single test from CT and EKGs to blood tests and kidney function had been booked. I went from one test to another in some of the smoothest medical work I'd ever seen. The whole testing took only two hours but then we had to wait for the results.

Katherine insisted that we wait for the results together. I'm not sure why, it's not like we were actually talking to each other. The whole time we'd been in the hospital we'd uttered maybe five sentences between us to each other. Maybe she thought I'd run away if I was left unsupervised. I wouldn't put it past her.

While we waited I read a copy of Medline Now. The magazine was a couple of months old but it had an interesting article in it about advancements in neonatal surgery written by Addison Shepard. I'm not sure if I found the article interesting because I knew the author or because of the procedure itself. I'd assisted her with it a couple of months ago.

After an hour of waiting in silence Katherine's phone rang. She left the waiting room to answer it. She was gone maybe five minutes. I don't know I wasn't actually paying that much attention to her. When she did come back she was looking more worried than ever. Her face was just a little bit paler and she was clutching her handbag just a little bit tighter.

When she sat down she told me that we had to leave tonight. That Hannah was getting worse and if the tests were clear her doctor wanted to do the procedure tomorrow morning. I nodded in acknowledgement of what she'd said but kept my head down.

Things were going a lot faster than I expected they would. A lot faster than they normally would. Katherine seemed to have all the right strings pulled to get this moving as fast a physically possible. I guess in a way that was good. Less time to think about things, less time to back out, not that I could do that now. I can't let Hannah die, not when I've already come this far.

It was another hour before the doctor returned with the results. They were exactly what I expected and probably what Katherine expected. After all I'd donated bone marrow five years earlier. We were a match and I was healthy. The surgery was a go.

I gulped. I was going to be in Portland in less than five hours.


	5. Chapter 5

Katherine drove Izzie home from the hospital. When they arrived she told her to get some things together and she'd wait for her outside. They were going to drive to Portland. The plane Katherine had been hoping to get wasn't available and it was only a three hour drive.

Meredith and George weren't home yet. It was only 9pm. The tests hadn't taken as long as she thought they would. They were probably still at work or at Joe's unwinding. Izzie went up stairs to her room and started pulling some things together. She didn't know how much to pack, how long she'd be gone. Things were happening a lot faster than she'd expected they would. While she'd made her decision to do this the full implications of her decision hadn't registered yet.

Outside Katherine was getting impatient to leave. She honked the horn on the car and started the engine. Izzie sighed and picked up the clothes she'd pulled out, three pairs of underwear, a pair of jeans, and a pair of pajamas. Subconsciously she was trying to tell herself she'd only been gone three days. Katherine honked the horn again. And for a moment Izzie thought about staying in the house another hour. It wasn't like Katherine could leave without her. She took her time looking for a bag to put her things in. In the end she decided that none of the ones she owned were suitable and she borrow a backpack of Georges. She then took her time to write a note for George and Meredith.

_Hey Guys_

_Something has come up, a family emergency. I have to go out of town for a few days. Please cover for me at work. I'll be back soon. Oh and George I borrowed your backpack._

_Love Izzie. _

She stuck the note on the coffee pot and walked out the front door. Katherine was in the car looking rather agitated. She greeted Izzie with a cold. "It took you long enough." Before backing the car out the driveway. Izzie didn't even bother to acknowledge her with a response. She was asleep before they were even out of Seattle.

/\/\/\/\

After an hour and a half of driving Katherine pulled the car into a highway truck stop. The change of momentum woke Izzie up. Her first reaction was to ask if they were already there. It didn't seem like they'd been driving long enough. Of course they hadn't been driving long enough and they weren't there yet. But they were somewhere. The truck stop looked familiar. It took Izzie a moment to get her bearings and then she realized where they were and she gulped. The truck stop looked familiar because she'd practically grown up there.

Katherine smiled at her, but not a friendly smile, more of an evil all knowing type smile. "I'm getting something to eat. Do you want to go in and get something too?"

Izzie shock her head. She was hungry, she hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, but she didn't want to go inside. Inside there were too many memories, not all bad but not all good either, just memories. Chehalis was a part of her life she'd turned her back on when she was eighteen and she wasn't ready to go back there, not ready to face those she'd left behind.

_She'd left the day she'd turned eighteen. Her mom invited the whole town over for a party to celebrate but she slipped out the front door before the cake was even cut. That's even if there was a cake. While the party was for her, it wasn't really for her it was more for her mom. Her mom liked to throw parties. She liked to have all the people around and the music and boozing. They couldn't afford to throw parties though and nine times out of ten Izzie was left to foot the bill and clean up the mess. _

_The only person who knew she was leaving was Sam. He'd been her best friend for as long as she could remember. His father owned the truck stop and while Izzie's mom worked twelve hour shifts, Sam's mom had looked after them. Growing up they'd rarely left each others side. When they were ten Sam fell out of a tree and broke his arm; Izzie sat next to him in emergency while the doctor had put a cast on. When they were twelve Izzie's dad died and it was Sam's shoulder she cried into. When they were fourteen Izzie realized if she was going to go to college she'd need to save her own money; Sam talked his dad into hiring both of them. When she was fifteen and she found herself pregnant, Sam was there for her. He was the only person (except for the father) who knew how she got pregnant. They had planed to leave together as well but Sam's mom become very sick a few weeks before they were going to leave and Sam couldn't leave her. Izzie had thought about not going as well. Sam had been there for her so many times over the last few years it was her turn to be there for him. But it was also her dream to go to college and make something of herself. In the end staying, even with Sam wasn't an option. Their good bye had been hard and tearful. They'd slipped out the party together and Sam had walked her to the bus station. They promised to write to each other and Izzie did write a few times but Sam never wrote back. _

Since leaving she'd thought little about those she'd left behind. For the most part to do so was too painful. She'd managed to close off that chapter of her life and her plan had been to never open it again. Through college she'd managed to do that quite well but since starting the internship things from her past kept slipping out. She'd phoned her mother for the first time in ten years. And she'd started baking again, well not again, she'd always baked but she was using her mother's recipes again. These small slips were okay; good even perhaps but the people…she couldn't see the people or the places.

Izzie slipped down in her seat and pretended to be asleep. She hoped that no one would see her and if they did that none would recognize her. It must have worked for no one disturbed her and ten minutes later Katherine returned and they were driving again.

/\/\/\/\

The second half of the drive was much the same as the first. Katherine drove and Izzie slept, or tried to sleep or pretended to sleep. They arrived in Portland just before 1am. Katherine told Izzie that she was taking her straight to the hospital, that Karl would meet her out the front and take her to see one of the doctors doing the transplant. There was prep work that needed to be done before the operation could proceed and Katherine wanted it to get started as soon as possible.

Outside the hospital Karl stood waiting for Izzie to arrive. He'd be lying to himself if he said he wasn't looking forward to her arrival. He'd been against Katherine contacting her in the first place but now that she was actually coming he was excited about it. Not only because it meant that Hannah had a real chance of getting better but because he cared and was interested in Izzie.

Katherine pulled the car into the hospital car park and used a permit card to gain access to a block of special parks near the front. Then she led Izzie to the front doors. Karl was standing at the front waiting for them. Izzie thought he looked tired and run down, older than the last time she's seen him. It had been five years but he looked ten years older, she thought he probably thought the same of her so she pushed that thought out of her mind. It wasn't important.

Karl greeted Katherine with a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. They had a brief conversation about Hannah. They whispered but Izzie heard everything they said.

"How's Hannah?"

"Same as when I last spoke to you."

"Where is she?"

"'Her' room. Sleeping."

"I'm going to go see her."

"Kate. She's sleeping. You need to get some sleep too. Tomorrow is going to be a big day."

"I know. I just need to see her first."

"Okay. Don't stay too long."

Karl kissed Katherine goodbye and briskly headed inside the hospital to Hannah's room.

With Katherine gone Karl greeted Izzie properly. He gave her a big hug and then stood back to look at her, much like a grandparent might look at a grandchild they hadn't seen in a long time. "So I hear you're a doctor now." He said with a smile.

Izzie beamed back "Yes." And proceeded to tell Karl everything she'd been up to for the last five years. Neither one of them mentioned Hannah until they were meeting with the doctors.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I hadn't planed on doing a stop at Chehalis but when I was finding out how long it takes to get from Seattle and Portland I noticed that Chehalis was right in between the two cities so I couldn't resist doing a brief stop over there.


	6. Chapter 6

Karl led Izzie into the hospital and through several corridors to a waiting area on the second floor. Izzie talked the whole time about what she'd been doing for the last five years. From modeling, (Karl said he'd seen her in some magazines and thought about her), to med school and even dating a hockey player. She told him about her time at Seattle Grace and all the people she'd met. Karl kept her talking, he was interested in what she had to say and the more she talked the less he had to talk.

Karl wanted to avoid the inevitable, talking about Hannah, for as long as possible. He knew they would have to, she was the reason they were doing this but…he knew they were asking a lot of Izzie, that this experience just like the last one would get messy and painful and that the longer they avoided actually talking about Hannah the better.

He'd seen the hurt and desperation on Izzie's face last time as she'd begged to see Hannah and Kate had kept saying no. He hadn't broached the topic with Kate this time but he was sure her stance hadn't changed. Hannah still didn't know she was adopted and Kate had no intention of telling her.

A small part of Karl hoped that perhaps Izzie would keep talking about herself long enough to completely avoid talking about Hannah, until after the surgery at least.

After waiting five minutes the doctor who was performing the procedure arrived to talk to them. He led them into an office of soughs and handed Izzie a series of forms to fill out. Karl held Izzie's hand while the doctor explained the procedure to them both. Izzie told him the she was a surgical intern and that she was familiar with the procedure but he insisted for insurance purposed if nothing else he needed to explain the procedure to her.

It took nearly an hour for the doctor to fully explain the surgery; since Izzie was so insistent that she knew the procedure he took the opportunity to explain every single facet of both the laparoscopic and open surgery techniques. When he was finally finished Karl was almost asleep and strains of the day were starting to take their toll on Izzie. They said their goodnights outside the doctor's office and Karl promised he'd come and see her in the morning before the surgery.

/\/\/\/\/\

A nurse led Izzie to her room. It was a small room, just big enough to fit a bed, a chair and a small cupboard, but it was privet so that was something to be glad of. She put her bag in the cupboard and changed into the hospital gown that had been left for her. She climbed into the bed and tried her best to fall asleep. She was mentally and physically exhausted but sleep was still hard to reach. It seemed like every time she was almost there something would happen, either a noise outside or a memory would jolt her back to consciousness.

In no time at all it was morning and she was being woken by a surgical intern who needed to administer her premed. It was the first time she'd been on the receiving end of a 4:30am wake up call and now she understood why the patients were often so cranky. The intern inserted an IV line in her arm and informed her that surgery was scheduled for 6am. After she tried to fall back to sleep but she couldn't. She couldn't stop thinking about Hannah. She couldn't stop thinking about what it was she was doing and what it would mean for her. She couldn't stop thinking that Hannah was somewhere in this hospital and in less than a couple of hours they'd be in adjoining ORs. All she could think about was asking Karl if she could see her.

Karl didn't come down until right before Izzie was being taken to the OR. He came running up to her bed looking breathless and exhausted. He took her hand and squeezed it tightly in his. He thanked her profusely and kissed her on the forehead. He told her good luck and that she would be fine. He walked with her until they reached the limits of the visitors' area. Then he bent down one last time to kiss her forehead and while he was down there Izzie asked the question she'd been wanting but dreading to ask since she'd arrived in Portland.

"Can I see Hannah when this is done?"

Karl nodded but didn't answer the question. All he said was "I'll talk to Kate." But Izzie was already through the doors and didn't hear him say that.

/\/\/\/\

A/N: Thanks everyone who has given reviews for previous parts of this story. It great to know there are people have been reading and if you're silly reading please review. I know this was a little bit of a nothing part but it was needed to get to the next part.


	7. Chapter 7

Izzie awoke in the recovery wing of the hospital. There was a nurse standing by her bed who smiled at her when she opened her eyes and she asked her if she was in any pain. Izzie said yes without really thinking about it. She could feel where they'd performed the surgery, pain was radiating from her side and her belly. She felt the nurse inject morphine into her IV line and slowly the pain subsided and she drifted back to sleep.

When she woke up again she was in her room. She noticed that a second IV line had been inserted into her other arm. One line was giving her fluids and the other blood. She felt her abdomen and noticed that as well as the four small incisions the doctor said he would use for the laparoscopy there was also a very large long incision running down her side. She felt for the call button and pressed it.

A nurse arrived a few minutes later. Izzie told her she wanted to speak to her doctor and asked how Hannah was. The nurse said she'd page the doctor but didn't answer her question about Hannah.

Her doctor arrived a few minutes later with the intern who'd awoken her that morning. She asked them what had happened during her surgery. The doctors said she'd experienced excessive bleeding and that was why they'd changed techniques mid way through the procedure. They told her that other than that every thing had gone fine and they expected she could be discharged at the end of the week. They were very helpful in answering her questions about herself but when she started asking about Hannah they became very vague. At first they said they didn't know who she was talking about. When she said she wanted to know how the girl who'd gotten her kidney was, they told her that they couldn't discuss the condition of the child due to doctor patient confidentiality. She told them she just wanted to know if she was doing okay, that she didn't need to know the details. But the doctors remained tight lipped and by the time they left she was in tears. Izzie heard the intern arguing with the doctor outside her room after they left. The intern wanted to know why they couldn't tell her anything and the doctor said it was because the child's mother didn't want her to know anything and legally she had no given right to know.

She waited a few minutes to clam herself down, then paged the nurse again. She asked the nurse if she could find Karl Jones, the father of the girl who got the kidney. The nurse said she'd try but didn't make any promises. Then she gave Izzie another shot of morphine and Izzie fell asleep again.

A few hours later when she woke up Karl was sitting in her room reading a book. When he saw she was a wake he put his book down and moved his chair closer to her bed.

"The nurses tell me you've been asking about Hannah." He said taking her hand. "She's still in the ICU but she's doing a lot better than she was yesterday."

Izzie nodded and smiled, glad that Hannah was doing better. "Can I go and see her?" she asked.

Karl took Izzie's hand tighter in his, averted his gaze and said.

"No."

Izzie didn't respond, maybe because the drugs were making her mind work slower, maybe because she wasn't sure she'd heard right. Karl kept talking.

"I'm so sorry Izzie, Kate doesn't want you to see her."

Now Izzie understood. She pulled her hand out of his grasp, and moved away from him on the bed. She couldn't move very far, it was more of a, symbolic gesture to say get away from me. She asked "Why?"

Karl tried to take her hand again but she didn't let him. "Kate has her reasons." He said. "She loves Hannah and thinks it's best if you don't see her."

"Is it what you think is best?"

"It doesn't matter what I think. Kate is my wife. I love her and I do what she says."

"What about what you say. What about what you think." Izzie was starting to get worked up; tears were on the verge of streaming down her face. "What about me." Izzie gulped, sucked in some air and kept talking. "If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have Hannah. You'd still be on the verge of losing her. You're her father you have just as much right as Katherine to decide what's best for her." Tears were streaming down her face now.

Karl reached out and touched her arm. "I'm sorry Izzie I can't."

Izzie pulled away from him, turned, looked him straight in the eyes and said "Yes you can. For once stand up for yourself, stand up for me." She turned away from him; a minute later he got up and left.

/\/\/\/\/\

After Karl left she didn't fall asleep. She lay in the bed cursing herself for getting so worked up. She knew this would happen. She knew Kate would never let her see Hannah but it still didn't make it hurt any less. During every day life she could put Hannah in the back of her mind. The part of her that longed to see Hannah and know how she was, was buried deep inside of her behind her longing for friendship, love, and cool surgeries. But now, being here, being so close, the thing she wanted most in the world was just to see her daughter. She couldn't understand why Katherine and Karl for that matter wouldn't let her. She didn't have to talk to Hannah, she just wanted to see her. As she lay in the bed trying to get her emotion together her door busted open and Katherine came storming in.

Katherine was angry, irrational and slightly fired up. She closed the door behind her and stood at the end of Izzie's bed.

"What shit have you been trying to pull this time? Karl said you've been asking to see Hannah. He said he was thinking of letting you. What nerve you have coming in here and telling my husband what he should and shouldn't be doing."

Izzie didn't respond, Katherine was still yelling at her, but a little part of her cheered up.

"You think you can just come in here and demand what you want?!" Katherine stopped to catch her breath and Izzie took the moment to respond.

"I'm not demanding anything. How could I possibly be demanding anything? You've already taken from me what you need. I can't make you do anything. All I'm saying is I want to see Hannah. I have a right to see her and Karl understands that."

"You have no rights. You lost all rights when it comes to Hannah the minute you singed those adoption papers."

"Maybe I don't have a legal right, but what about a moral right. If it wasn't for me you'd still be on the verge of losing her. Doesn't that deserve some credit, doesn't that deserve…" Izzie's voice trailed off, something didn't feel right.

Katherine didn't notice. She was still yelling at Izzie, "Don't you understand Hannah can't see you. Hannah can't know that you exist." When the monitors changed from monotonous beeping to a high pitched wailing.

A team of doctors and nurses came running into the room and Katherine got pushed aside. She didn't stay to see what happened she slipped out the room and went running back to see Hannah, making a mental note to herself not to mention this to Karl.

A blood clot that had moved from her sutures to her lungs caused the respiratory arrest. A chest tube was inserted to relieve the pressure and she was started on a dose of blood thinners to prevent more clotting.

The episode and the confrontation with Katherine left her feeling more drained than before. She wanted to drift back to sleep but she couldn't her insides were churning and her emotions out of control. She needed to talk to someone, so she picked up the phone and dialed George.

/\/\/\

George was in the middle of a consultation with Dr. Bailey when he felt his phone ring in his pocket. The caller ID said it was a privet number.

"Hello" he said.

"George. It's Izzie."

"I thought so. Are you okay?"

"I want to go home. I can't be here anymore." Her words sounded shaky and scary.

"Okay." George said trying to buy himself a little bit of time. He didn't know what he should do or say. "Did you do the surgery?" he finally asked. He could hear Izzie on the other end trying to control her breathing and the faint sound of a monitor.

"This morning."

George nodded to himself. He still didn't know what he should say to Izzie. She was barely post op and in no state to be going anywhere. Then Dr. Bailey started yelling at him to get off the phone and hurry up. "Okay. Let me think about it. Dr. Bailey is calling me. Phone me back in a couple of hours." Izzie didn't say anything, her end of the phone remained dead. Dr. Bailey called George again. "Izzie I'm sorry I've really got to go. I'll talk to you later okay. Don't do anything stupid." And he hung up before Izzie had a chance to respond.

/\/\/\

Izzie held the phone in her hand. The sound of the disconnected line ringing in her ear. She felt hollow, empty, alone, isolated, physically and mentally exhausted. She started crying again, silent tears at first, but they soon turned to sobs and her whole body began shaking. She didn't stop until she'd cried herself to sleep.

/\/\/\/\

When she woke several hours later Karl was sitting by her bed watching her. He smiled at her when she opened her eyes but she turned away from him. She was mad at him for not standing up for her. She lay on her bed with her back to him. He picked up a piece of her hair and started playing with it. She didn't push him away. He started speaking to her, slowly softly.

"I'm sorry about what happened before with Kate. She had no right to come in and yell at you like that. She doesn't mean to be like that. She's not usually like that. It's just with you. She feels threatened and insecure. It's difficult for her to see Hannah so sick and know that there is nothing that she can do to help, knowing that you can help. She's afraid that if Hannah found out about you, found out that she was adopted and it was her birth mom who saved her. She's afraid that Hannah won't love her, afraid that Hannah might love you too."

Izzie lay there listening to Karl. For the first time ever she felt sorry for Katherine. Sorry for her because her insecurities were able to so totally consume her. A tiny part of her understood why Katherine didn't want her to see Hannah. The understanding didn't bring closure though. She still wanted to see Hannah more than anything else in the world. She rolled back over to face Karl.

"Katherine is Hannah's mom," she said, "She has raised her, cared for her, and loved her, her entire life. She's not going to stop loving her because of me. You have to tell her that. You have to tell her that Hannah is her daughter, Hannah is her child and nothing I do or say will change that. I don't want to take Hannah away from her. I just want to see her, maybe talk to her. She doesn't need to know who I am. I don't need to tell her that. I won't tell her that if you don't want me to."

Karl took Izzie's hands in his, this time she didn't pull them away. He brought them to his mouth and kissed them. "I'll see what I can do." he said. And then something happened. He stood up to leave and went to kiss her forehead like he always did when he said goodbye. But instead of kissing her forehead he kissed her lips. Somehow he was kissing her and she was kissing him back.

When their lips parted they stared at each other, surprised, shocked at what had just happened. Karl was the first to speak, what he said was

"I think you should go."

He meant to say was "I think I should go." But that's not what he said. Izzie nodded in agreement with him.

"Yeah I think it's time." She said.

Karl started leaving. At the doorway he stopped. "Thank you Izzie for everything," he said. He turned to walk out the door but he came back. He kissed her again, on the forehead this time and then right before he was gone he said.

"I'm taking Kate out for dinner tonight. There won't be anyone in Hannah's room between seven and nine."

Then he closed the door and was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

Izzie watched Karl close the door behind him. She lay in the bed trying to process what had just happened. Karl had kissed her, and she had kissed him back. That wasn't meant to happen. She didn't know why it had happened. She liked Karl, maybe even loved him but not that way. Ever since she'd met him he'd always been fatherly to her. She tried to shake the thought out of her head. She didn't know why he'd done it. Maybe it had been to distract her, take her mind off Hannah, for a brief second he'd certainty done that but then as he was leaving; what he'd said.

"There won't be anyone in Hannah's room between seven and nine."

She remembered what he said before then too. "I think you should go." Was he trying to set things up for her? He was giving her an opportunity to see Hannah but he was also giving her a reason to leave. She couldn't stay in Portland any longer. She missed her friends dreadfully and the isolation would shortly become unbearable.

She knew what she had to do; she just needed to work out how to do it.

It was 4pm. She paged the nurse and asked her if she could go for a walk. She said she was sick of being in bed and thought she was ready for it. The nurse asked her about her pain. She said the morphine was working well and her next dose wasn't due until 6:30. The nurse seemed reluctant to let her out of the bed but eventually she agreed.

She unhooked Izzie's IV line (she only had the one now), and raised the bed into a more upright position. She helped Izzie get her legs around and made her sit upright on the bed for a minute. When she was ready to stand she helped her onto the floor, and Izzie lent on her for support. Standing was easier than she thought it would be, her balance wasn't off and she wasn't in nearly as much pain as she'd expected. She used the nurse as support as she walked out her room, but once she was in the corridor she walked on her own. She moved slowly and stayed close to the wall but she was still walking properly. After a few laps the nurse took her back to her room. Izzie felt great, better than she had all day. She knew what she was going to do now. She asked the nurse to come back at 6:30 to give her some more morphine and went to sleep.

/\/\\/\\

At 6:30 the nurse came back to give Izzie the next dose of morphine. She'd been asleep and almost told the nurse she didn't need it but when she rolled over she felt the pain surge through her abdomen and up her back. Sleeping meant she hadn't noticed the pain returning. The nurse gave her the morphine through her IV and left. On her way out she asked her if she needed anything else because they were changing shifts at seven and might be hard to get. Izzie shock her head and the nurse left.

/\/\/\/\

The next half an hour seemed to take forever. Izzie lay in the bed, partly zoned out on morphine but fully aware of everything that was happening. At 7pm she unplugged her IV line, and climbed out of the bed. She bent down and retrieved her bag from the cupboard next to the bed. Changed into jeans and the top she'd worn into the hospital. The jeans were uncomfortable across the wounds but she didn't have anything else to wear. She brushed her hair and checked that the nurses were occupied and then walked out the door.

She took the elevator to the fifth floor children's ICU. Hanging in the hall way were a collections of white coats, Izzie picked one up and put it on. The idea was to blend in. She headed towards the nurse station and paused there long enough to work out which room Hannah was in.

She was actually doing this. She was actually going to see Hannah. She stood outside the girl's room holding the door handle. All she had to do was twist it and she'd be in. But she was afraid, of what she wasn't sure. She'd come this far, she couldn't not go in. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

Inside the room Hannah lay on the bed sleeping. Izzie stared at her mesmerized. She was beautiful, and the spitting image of her mother. Izzie stood at the end of the bed watching her sleep. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do now. She couldn't wake her up. She didn't want to wake her up. If she woke her up she'd have to talk to her and she didn't know what she would say.

So she sat down on the chair next to the bed and watched her. After twenty minutes she got up to leave. There was little point in her staying there any longer. But as she was leaving she bent down to kiss Hannah goodbye and she woke up.

Hannah lay in the bed staring up at Izzie. Her eyes were brown just like her mothers. They both stared at each other. Izzie was scared, she wasn't sure what she was meant to do now but Hannah looked peaceful, content, and not the slightest bit surprised to see this strange woman in her room. Eventually Hannah spoke. In a hushed quiet voice she asked.

"Are you an angel?"

Izzie smiled, she could work with this. "Yes." She answered.

"Am I going to die?"

"No, honey you're going to be just fine." Izzie smiled at her. "You've just got to keep fighting like you have been."

"Good." Hannah smiled at her and then drifted back to sleep.

Izzie left he room as quietly as she had entered and headed towards the elevator. As she walked someone on the floor called a code blue. A nurse wheeling a crash cart came running around the corner, and plowed straight into Izzie. The impact made her wince but the morphine meant she only felt discomfort. She stood up and continued walking towards the elevator. She caught it down to the ground floor and walked out the front of the hospital.

/\/\/\

Izzie was leaving Portland tonight. There was no reason why she needed to stay there, other than her need for hospital care but she thought she could work around that. She caught a taxi to the bus station and brought a ticket to Seattle. The bus would leave in ten minutes and arrive in Seattle just before midnight.

Izzie fell asleep almost as soon as the bus had left. She didn't wake up until the bus was pulling into the bus station in Seattle.

When she did wake up she wished immediately that she was still asleep. The morphine had completely worn off and she was in pain, a lot of pain. She waited until everyone was off the bus before she tried to move. Standing was difficult. Walking was more difficult. The bus driver came up and asked her if she was okay. She lied to him said she was fine; she just had a stomach ache. He asked her if she needed him to phone her a taxi. She lied to him and said she had a ride. She didn't have a ride, not yet.

She pulled her phone out of her bag and dialed George's number.

/\/\/\

George was at the hospital when Izzie phoned. He was on call that night.

"George I need you to come pick me up." She said.

"Izzie I can't. I'm at work."

"Please George. I need someone to come and get me." She sounded really sick, really weak, and George was worried about her.

"Where are you?"

"At the bus station."

"Okay I'll find a way to come get you. Don't move."

George hung up the phone and looked around. He needed to go. He needed to help Izzie. She sounded really scary on the phone and he was worried but he couldn't leave the hospital, not without someone covering him.

He looked around the hospital trying to find someone who might be able to cover for him. Then he saw Alex about to walk out the front door.

"Alex!" George called out.

"What O'Malley!" Alex was a little tired and grumpy. It was the end of a long day and with Izzie absent they'd all been working extra hard to cover for her.

"I need you to cover for me right now."

"What!? Now. No I'm going home."

Alex went to keep walking out the door but George reached out and grabbed his arm. "Please Alex I really need you to cover for me right now. Izzie's in trouble. I need to go get her."

George held onto Alex's arm. He wasn't going to let go of it until he said yes. "Please Alex."

"Fine." Alex turned around and headed back into the hospital and George sprinted through the front doors.


	9. Chapter 9

George pulled his car up in front of the bus station. Izzie was sitting on the ground outside.

"Izzie!" He called out to her but she didn't get up. "Izzie!" He parked the car and hoped out. Since she'd phoned him her condition had gotten worse.

He walked over to her and knelt down beside her. "Izzie?" he said placing his hand on her shoulder.

She looked up at him and smiled. "George, you came." Her words were soft, slightly slurred.

"Of course I came." He took her hand in his and felt for her pulse. Her hand was cold and moist and her pulse was racing. He felt her forehead and her face; they were also cold and damp. She was covered in cold sweat. She was going into shock. "Izzie can you stand?" he tried to help her up but she was too weak. "Izzie. We need to get you to the hospital. I need your help." He put one arm around her waist and pulled her arm around his shoulders. He held onto her tightly and together they stood up. She moaned in pain as they moved but George ignored it and kept moving.

He opened the car door and helped her into the seat. "George?" she said as he was doing up her seat belt. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm taking you to the hospital. You're sick."

"Oh." She lay back in the seat and closed her eyes.

George ran around to his side of the car and opened the door. He sat in his seat and started the engine. Then he fished out his phone and dialed Alex.

Alex answered on the third ring. "O'Malley, what do you want?"

"I need you to meet me at the front of the hospital in five minutes with a gurney."

"What?"

"Izzie's really sick. I need you to meet me there." He hung up the phone before Alex could answer and started driving. He hoped Alex would be there. Izzie needed him to be there.

George held her hand the whole way to the hospital. He was feeling for her pulse, it was there but it was weak.

He pulled his car up to the front of the hospital. Alex was there waiting. George breathed a little sigh of relief. He left the engine running as he ran around to Izzie's side of the car and opened the door. Together they lifted her out and onto the gurney. She'd lost consciousness on the way to the hospital.

"O'Malley what happened?"

"I don't know."

"What's wrong with her?"

"I think she's bleeding."

"What?"

"Just get her inside. I need to park the car I'll be there in a minute." George hoped back in the car and Alex started pushing Izzie toward emergency.

By the time George came back into the hospital Alex had things under way. Izzie was being hooked up to monitors to get her BP, pulse, and O2 stats. Blood was being drawn for testing and her clothes were being striped. Dr. Bailey was the on call resident that night and she arrived at the same time as George.

"What have we got?" she asked entering the room.

An ER doctor gave her the medical spiel. Her BP was low, her pulse rate was high, and her abdomen was distended, and appeared to have fresh surgical wounds on it. Alex simply said "It's Izzie."

Bailey was taken a back for just a second. "Okay. Start her on O- and Tranexamic Acid to stop the bleeding. Alert the OR that we'll be coming up shortly, and get me an ultrasound so we can see what is bleeding."

George spoke just as Bailey was about to leave the room. "She had a nephrectomy this morning. I think the internal sutures my have ruptured. "

"What?!" Everyone in the room turned to face George. Dr. Bailey was speechless for a second. "Okay. Ar…I still need everything I just said done. O'Malley, can I speak to you outside?"

George followed Dr. Bailey into the hall. "What do you mean she had a nephrectomy?"

"She had a nephrectomy, this morning, in Portland."

"And you know this because?"

"She told me."

"Why didn't you try to stop her?"

"It wasn't my place to stop her."

"Why didn't you tell someone?"

"She made me promise not to."

"Okay then." Dr. Bailey walked away and George walked back into the trauma room.

/\/\/\/\

The blood thinner's Izzie had been given earlier in the day were making it difficult for them to stop the bleeding. Her abdomen was swelling as her abdominal cavity was filling with blood but they couldn't take her into surgery until the bleeding stopped. The skin and muscle surrounding the rupture were working like a pressure bandage and literally the only thing stopping her from bleeding out. If they started operating before the bleeding stopped she stood little chance.

Thirty units of blood and maximum dosages of almost every coagulant imaginable the bleeding stopped and she was stable enough to be moved to the OR. Dr. Bailey was waiting for them there. She made George and Alex wait outside. She said something about them being too close to her to be any use in the OR. They both disagreed but they weren't really in any position to argue.

The two men sat together in the corridor waiting. "So Izzie really had a nephrectomy?" Alex asked George.

"Yeah"

"Why?"

"She had her reasons."

"You're not going to tell me are you?"

"I promised her I wouldn't. She wanted to be the one to tell everyone."

"Oh. Do you think she'll be okay?"

"Dr. Bailey is great at what she does. Izzie will be okay."

The two men went back to waiting in silence.

/\/\/\/

Just before five Dr. Bailey came over to speak to them. "We've repaired the rupture and stopped the bleeding. She's been taken to the high dependency unit for observation but barring any more complications she should be fine."

"Can we go see her?"

"Later. She needs to rest and you both have rounds to make."

/\/\/\/\

Izzie woke up in the high dependency unit of Seattle Grace. She recognized her surroundings but then she didn't recognize them as well. She knew she was in Seattle but she couldn't remember how she got there. The last clear memory she had was leaving Hannah's room in Portland. She tried to sit up in the bed but pain ripped all around abdomen. She lay back down and pressed the call button for the nurse.

The nurse who came she didn't recognize. She asked her what happened, how she got there. The nurse seemed surprised that she didn't know and told her that Dr. O'Malley brought her in last night. She told her that when she'd come in she was bleeding and Dr. Bailey had operated on her to stop it. Izzie took the information in. This meant everyone would know about the nephrectomy. She wondered how much else they knew. She asked the nurse if she could page Dr. O'Malley for her.

/\/\/\

George was in the cafeteria with everyone else when his pager went off. They were talking about Izzie and what had happened the night before. Alex had told them about the nephrectomy, and that George knew why she'd done it but wouldn't tell them. They were grilling him about it, asking a lot of questions, trying to make him slip up but he wasn't going to tell them. He'd promised Izzie he wouldn't and he had no plans to break that promise. When his pager went off he was relieved, Izzie was awake and would be able to give everyone some answers.

/\/\/\/\

George sat next to Izzie's bed and told her everything that he knew about what had happened the night before. He told her that she'd phoned him from the bus station and by the time he'd arrived to pick her up she was going into shock. He told her that Alex helped him when he'd brought her in and that she'd needed thirty units of blood before she was stable. He told her that she was lucky she hadn't bled out and that leaving Portland had been a stupid thing to do. She agreed with him, but told him he wasn't there and didn't know what it was like, that she couldn't have stayed their any longer. He told her that everyone knew she'd had a nephrectomy and they'd all been asking him why, but he hadn't told them. Then he told her that everyone was waiting outside.

Izzie gulped. She knew George was right. She knew she had to tell everyone. She couldn't expect George to keep her secret forever and they were her friends they had a right to know. Well not a right per say but telling them was the right thing to do. She couldn't keep put it off, if ever there was a right time to tell them it was now. She took a deep breath and told George to let them in.

Meredith was the first through the door. She went straight up to Izzie's side and hugged her. Then she stood back to let Alex in. Christina stood at the end of the bed, she wasn't much for hugging. After the indicial greetings the room went silent. No one knew what to say. They were all waiting for Izzie to explain herself but she didn't know where to start.

Finally Christina broke the silence. "So Izzie," she said, "Did you sell your kidney on the black market or what?"

Izzie laughed. Then she winched in pain because it hurt. "No I didn't sell my kidney on the black market." She asked George to pass her, her bag and she pulled out the letter Katherine had sent to her nearly two weeks ago. She handed it to Meredith who was closest and waited for them to read it.

After they were finished reading Meredith asked "Who's Hannah?"

Izzie reached into the bag again and pulled out a small rather battered looking photo. "This is Hannah." She said handing them the photo. "She's my daughter."

* * *

**I'm not a doctor so if any of the medical talk is wrong, it's wrong, I'm sorry, it's all just based on internet searches.**


	10. Chapter 10

Meredith took the photo from Izzie's hand, she looked at it and then passed it around to the others. In turn they stared at the photo. Everyone took their time to look at it. No one knew quite what to say.

Finally Alex spoke. "How old is she?" he asked handing back the photo.

"Eleven." Izzie paused for a moment but no one said anything so she kept going. "I had her when I was sixteen. I wasn't ready to have a child then. I wanted more for her than I could offer at sixteen. I also wanted more for myself. I wanted out of that trailer park so bad and I wouldn't be able to do that with a child. So I put her up for adoption and the Jones adopted her when she was born."

Her friends listened as she explained everything. They didn't interrupt her. "I never planed on having anything to do with her after she was born. Giving her up was the hardest decision I've had to make in my life but I knew I was doing the right thing. I never regretted it for a second. But then five years ago she started getting sick. Katherine her mom came to me and asked if I'd donate bone marrow for her. I did it without so much as a second thought. It was supposed to make everything better and it did for a while."

A small tear trickled down Izzie's cheek as she thought about how sick Hannah had been, still was. This was the first time she'd ever really spoken about this to anyone.

"I didn't hear from the Jones again until that letter arrived. I thought hard about what I decided to do. It wasn't a knee jerk decision but there was really only one option. I had to do it. I couldn't let Hannah die."

Izzie's voice trailed off and her friends reached out to her. "Izzie, it's okay. Why didn't you tell us?"

"I was going to. I planed to but then things just started happening so fast. I didn't get a chance to."

"Why did you come back so soon? You're a surgeon; you know how long it takes to recover from surgeries."

"I couldn't stay there. It was horrible. All I wanted to do was see Hannah and I couldn't. They didn't let me. I had to get out of there. I felt fine. I thought I'd be okay."

"You almost died."

"I know." More tears started trickling down Izzie's face. Then everyone's pages went off.

Christina reached for her pager first. "It's a 911 guys." She said and she started leaving the room.

Meredith stood up to follow. She gave Izzie's hand a small squeeze "We'll talk later, okay." Izzie gave her a small smile.

Alex reached down and wiped the tears away from her eyes. "Don't ever scare me like that again." He said, and then he was gone too.

George lingered a little longer. "Does it feel better now everyone knows?"

"I guess." Izzie didn't feel better though she felt tired and exhausted.

"I should get going." George stood up to leave. At the door Izzie called out to him, well she spoke; it wasn't really much of a call.

"George. Thank you for not telling them."

"I promised you I wouldn't." Then he was gone too.

/\/\/\

Izzie fell asleep shortly after her friends left. The events of the last day and a bit had really taken a lot out of her. So much had happened; so many tears had been cried. She couldn't remember the last time she'd cried so much. Well she could, it was the last time she'd been close to Hannah.

That afternoon she dreamt about Hannah. In her dream Hannah was healthy, and Hannah was hers. It was a nice dream but she woke up from it with tears in her eyes. She used her hand to wipe the tears away and noticed someone walking around in her room. It was Dr. Bailey.

"Dr. Bailey what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Dr. Stevens you're awake. I was just checking in on you. How are you feeling?"

"Okay I guess." She was still half asleep.

"How's the pain?"

Izzie tried to sit up; she moved two inches and stopped. "It's okay until I try to move."

"That's to be expected. You were in a really bad state last night."

"I heard." Izzie noticed a concerned look cross Dr. Bailey's face and her make a note on her chart. "Is there something wrong?"

"Your potassium and creatinine levels are elevated and your urine output extremely low."

"Oh." Izzie recognized the symptoms. "Are you saying I have renal failure?"

"You lost a lot of blood last night. Acute renal failure is quite possible." Izzie gulped. This wasn't something she'd been expecting.

"You can treat it though. Right?"

"Yes. We'll monitor your levels for the next twelve hours and if the problem isn't fixing itself we'll start dialysis in the morning."

"Okay"

Dr. Bailey moved around Izzie bed and sat in the seat facing her. "May I ask why you did it?"

"I had to save my daughter." Dr. Bailey nodded. She didn't act surprised, she didn't act shocked, she just smiled. "You already knew?"

"Your medical records say you had a child. I had my thoughts." Dr. Bailey got up to leave. "I should let you get some rest." At the door she stopped. "You did the right thing." She said and then she was gone.

/\/\/\/\

Izzie didn't sleep well that night. For the first time since she'd agreed to do donate she was worrying about her own wellbeing. Hannah was going to be okay, and if she wasn't, Izzie knew she'd done all that she could. She was worried about herself now.

She didn't want to die. She didn't want to be sick. She'd known the risks going into the procedure but they were minimal. She didn't think the complications would happen to her. Statistics had been on her side.

That night she cried, but not for Hannah, for herself.


	11. Chapter 11

Dr. Bailey visited Izzie very early the next morning. She brought with her good news. Her potassium and creatinine levels were coming down and her urine output was increasing. Her kidney function was returning to normal, the problem was fixing itself.

Izzie breathed a sigh of relief. She was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay, she kept telling herself. Dr. Bailey told her that she was lucky. Everything looked to be healing fine but she wasn't completely out of the woods yet. She was going to have to stay in the hospital for at least another week to make sure everything continued to heal and to make sure she did rest.

Izzie agreed without any fuss. She had no plans of make the mistake of leaving the hospital early again. She had learnt her lesson and being stuck in Seattle Grace wasn't like being stuck in Portland. She had her friends around her. Her room became their new hanging spot. She didn't get as much rest as Dr. Bailey had hoped but she did stay in bed, for the most part anyways.

Ten days after the initial complications she was deemed well enough to be discharged and return to work. Her first day back at work felt a little weird. Everyone seemed to be looking at her and she caught people talking about her behind her back. She tried to pretend it wasn't happening but after a while it got hard to ignore. She asked her friends about it. They told her to ignore it. She was just this week's gossip and next week it would be someone else.

The whole hospital knew what had happened. Well they knew different parts of the story and there were a few different version of it. Christina's offhanded comment about her selling her kidney on the black market had even managed to become one of the versions. Izzie did her best to ignore it. The people who mattered knew what had happened and that was really all that was important.

Her friends and colleagues didn't treat her any differently after. Well Dr. Bailey became all Nazi like about not letting her over work but other than that everything was normal. Her friends were great, George especially but Alex, Meredith and even Christina were helpful too. They kept asking her if she wanted to talk about things, that if she did they were there to listen.

For the most part though, she didn't want to talk about it. She thought about Hannah a lot. She wondered how she was doing, if she was getting better. Once she asked George to phone the hospital in Portland and pretend to be Hannah's family doctor or something to get some information on her condition. He phoned the hospital for her but they wouldn't give out any information over the phone.

George told her she should just phone them and ask. But she didn't have their phone number and a part of her was afraid she might get bad news. Not knowing made it easier for her to think the best. She'd done all that she could to help Hannah. She could only hope that it was enough.

/\/\/\

Ten weeks after everything had happened thing were finally back to normal. Izzie was back to working 100 hour weeks. Dr. Bailey had stopped treating her like she was special. And she had stopped thinking about Hannah, well not stopped thinking about her but she was no longer the primary thing occupying her mind. It wasn't that she didn't care about her. But she had decided that she had no way of finding out how Hannah was. And a little part of her didn't want to know anyways, in case she hadn't made it.

But ten weeks after everything had happened a letter arrived. The envelope was quite large and the postmark on it was from Portland. Izzie stared at the letter for a long time. She was afraid to open it. Afraid of what might be inside. She knew who it was from; she knew what was inside of it. What was inside of it, were the answers. The answers to questions she desperately wanted to know to but was scared to find out.

Two hours after she arrived home, two hours after she saw the letter she opened it.

* * *

**That was a little bit of a nothing part. I just wanted to set it for the next and final chapter of the story. The end is near. Your reviews are very much appreciated. Thanks.**


	12. Chapter 12

Inside the envelop were two letters folded up separately and another smaller envelop which was sealed and written on it was "Open this last".

Izzie picked the first letter up and started reading.

_Dear Isobel,_

_Karl says I should call you Izzie. To be honest that feels a little wired. You've always been Isobel to me. But we must progress so let me start again._

_Dear Izzie,_

_I'm writing to apologies for the way I treated you. I shouldn't have yelled at you and I should have let you see Hannah. I have since learnt that my insecurities were unwarranted. I am Hannah's mom and nothing that you could do or say would change that. I am for ever in your debt. You have given this family so much. I hope all is well with you, and that for Hannah's sake I never have to contact you again._

_Take care._

_Kate (If I'm calling you Izzie you can call me Kate.)_

Izzie folded the letter up picked up the second one.

_Dear Izzie,_

_I hope all is well with you. I realize in retrospect that you leaving like you didn't wasn't the best thing you could have done medically. I want to apologize for placing you in a situation where you thought that leaving was necessary. The kiss we shared was simply a misguided goodbye kiss, nothing more. _

_With that said I thought you might like to know how Hannah is doing. Since the surgery her condition has been improving in leaps and bounds. She's back at school now and I can't remember the last time she had so much energy. Kate and I enrolled her in swimming classes and she seems to be a natural at it. Thank you so much Izzie for what you have given us._

_The night you left. When we came back from dinner, Hannah told us an angel visited her and told her everything would be okay. That was you wasn't it? Thank you for doing that, not telling her who you were. And thank you for telling her everything would be okay. She truly believes that you were an angel._

Izzie smiled and turned the page on the letter.

_I finally convinced Kate that we needed to tell Hannah that she was adopted. We told her a couple of weeks after she left the hospital. The funny thing was she told us she already knew. Apparently a couple of years ago her friend Alice's big sister did a biology project on genetic traits. Kate and I both have blue eyes and Hannah's are brown like yours. She laughed when we told her and said she was glad she was adopted because otherwise it meant her mom had had an affair. It was quite funny to see Kate's mouth drop when she told us. Mine dropped too but I don't think it was quite as much. _

_Anyways Hannah asked if she could write to you as well. Her letter is in the other envelop. She wouldn't let us see what it in side of it so I hope it's nothing bad. _

_Take care Izzie. I'll be thinking of you every time I see Hannah laugh, smile, cry. You have given this family so much and I will never forget it. If you ever need anything please don't be afraid to phone me. I can be resourceful at times._

_Karl._

Izzie placed Karl's letter on the table and picked up the other envelope. She turned it over in her hands a few times. Inside was something she never thought she'd have, a letter from her daughter. She felt her heart begin to race, as slowly opened the envelope.

She tipped the contents of it onto the table. There was a letter written on pink writing paper, a couple of photos, and a drawing. She picked up the photos and started at them. One was of Hannah in a swim suit; she had the biggest smile on her face. On the back of the photo was written the message "_After my first swimming lesson"_. The other was a school photo. On the back of it Hannah had written "_My school photo, I hate the top I'm wearing, my mom made me wear it"._ Izzie chuckled to herself and placed the photos back on the table. Then she picked up the drawing. She was going to look it but decided to read the letter first.

_Hi Izzie,_

It said in large loopy hand writing.

_My Dad says I can call you Izzie. My mom says I should call you Ms Stevens. But the only people I call Ms are my school teachers. I hope you don't mind me calling you Izzie._

_I can't believe I'm actually writing to you. It feels a little weird. I mean you're my mother, well not my mother, that's what my mom keeps telling me, but you know what I mean. It's weird. I'd known for a while that I was adopted, well I'd had my suspicions. I was either adopted or my mom had an affair. I was kind of glad I was adopted. I'd hate my dad to be sad if my mom had had an affair. I was so glad when my parents finally told me. I'd wanted to ask them about it for a while but I never knew quite how to put it. It's not the type of thing you can just bring up over dinner or something. Well I didn't think so but, that's how they told me. Mom made me my favorite dinner and just when I was about to leave the table she said. _

"_Hannah, we've got something we need to talk to you about. You're adopted."_

_Well she didn't quite say it like that. She drew it out and all and dodged the actual topic for a while, and then Dad told me. But it was great._

_I was so excited when Dad told me I could write to you. He said I should put the letter in an envelop just incase you didn't want to read it. I'm not sure why you wouldn't want to read it. I'm hoping you read it, well if you're reading this you're obviously reading it. And if you weren't reading this you wouldn't be reading this. I'm rambling aren't I?_

_Anyways…I don't know what I want to say. I'd always imagined writing to you or meeting you. I had this whole scenario worked out in my head but now I'm actually doing it I don't know what I want to say. _

_I guess I could tell you a little about myself. Dad says you already know about me being sick and all. He says you're the one who gave me the kidney. That was really nice of you. It's working really well and I'm feeling a lot better since the surgery. So arr…thanks for that. Some day when I'm older I'll do something really big to say thanks. _

_What else can I say? I like swimming. Mom and Dad just enrolled me in classes and I'm really good. My teacher says that maybe I can start swimming in races soon. _

_I like pink, not the really bright pink though, pale pink. And I used to have this thing with pigs. I have a lot of little pigs all over my bedroom. And I like drawing. Maybe I could draw you some pictures. Yeah that's what I'll do. And I could put some photos in too. _

_And umm…I think that's all a want to say. It's all I can think of at the moment. I hope I can keep writing to you and maybe you'd write back. Maybe some day I could maybe meet you. Mom says I have to wait until I'm 18, but that's only five and a bit years away. _

_Love Always_

_Hannah._

_PS: Are you really a doctor and a model? My Dad told me you were a doctor but then I asked what you looked like and he showed me this photo from a magazine. _

Izzie placed the letter down on the table. A big smile lay across her face. This was more that she'd ever dreamed of having from her daughter. And there was still more to come.

She picked up the drawing and unfolded it. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Hannah's letter hadn't made her cry, it had made her laugh but this drawing brought tears to her eyes.

It was the most incredible thing she had ever scene. It looked so life like and real. In the drawing she was sitting next to Hannah under a tree. They both had the biggest smiles on their faces. There was a picnic rug on the ground and dozens of foods spread out across it.

In the corner of the drawing was a post-it. On it Hannah had written _"This is how I imagine the day we meet"_.

Izzie stared at the photos and the drawing and the letter from Hannah for over an hour. She was mesmerized by them. She couldn't believe she had them and she wasn't sure what she should do with them. She wanted to hold onto them. They were a little piece of Hannah she could hold on to. After a while she stood up and went looking for her wallet. She slipped the two photos inside of it. Then she took the drawing, she pulled the post-it off it and stuck that to the back, then she hung the drawing on the fridge. She stepped back to look at it. It was perfect.

The only thing she had left now was the letter. She picked it off the table along with the letters from Kate and Karl. She slipped them back inside of the larger envelop and took them upstairs.

In her room she placed the letters inside her night stand, pulled out some writing paper and not knowing exactly what she wanted to say she began writing.

_Dear Hannah,_

* * *

**So that's the end of the story. I wanted to try and end it with a bit of closure and also the same way it started in a way. I hope you enjoyed it and please if you've read this far review and let me know what you think. Even if you didn't like it. **


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